Only in Thailand

Patong and Kata Beach

It is rare, especially as a western, to not constantly be thinking about your cell phone. Whether for phone calls, texting ( even sexting for some of you dirty dogs) or social media. So much so, that yesterday while enjoying a beautiful day at Kata beach… with curling waves and Italian surf boys running the shorelines… my dear friend Colleen heard a musical sound coming near she quickly jumped to say “I think someone’s phone is ringing!”. We all laughed and pointed to her an adorable old Thai man playing handcrafter flutes. Only in Thailand, is a ring tone actually a cute old flute player. Hence, the background story to this blog entries title.

I believe I somewhat set the scene for yesterdays adventure. Kata beach is a laid-back location that many tourists and locals alike go for a calming escape. Although “high season” has officially ended and the tourist wave is diminishing, the means the curl tides are getting higher and that surf season is starting. Lacking the balance of anything greater than a wobbling drunk toddler, I avoid any sports that require the skill. My day consisted more so of beach Frisbee and sand lounging, which I found equally entertaining. Our group of friends was a wide variety, from northern European to Canadian and American. Eventually a storm was brewing and, all being of northern decent, our skins were tinting to a redish glow.

The group of 6 clamored onto 4 motorbikes and drove through the jungle landscape to end at a wonderful Reggae bar (although I call it a shack).  The owner was a skinny dread head who smoke broken English but communicated perfectly with his smile. We had some local Chang beer and sat on the wooden Rasta colored benches, staring out over the viewpoint of the ocean. With Afroman setting the true mood, we all relaxed and were comfortable… until the otter attacked.

Now if you’re like me, you think “O an otter! How adorable! We will be best friends and eat clams off our bellies together”. Let me tell you, that is not how this otter envisioned our friendship (or lack thereof). This beast saw itself as the shacks personal bouncer and would constantly charge one of us, quickly biting the ankle and running away. To show true dominance, the otter even chased the shacks own turkey down the road for blocks… for no specific purpose. We named him “Little Asshole”.

A dinner consisting of an unlimited sushi buffet was followed by a typical tourist Friday night out in Patong. Colleen and I roamed the infamous Patong roads observing the multitude of bars and ping-pong sex shows. Yes, that’s right, live ping-pong sex shows. The female body is such a bizarre thing sometimes. Anyways, the experience was fantastic. Open air bars blasted music and promotions, attempting to hook in any audience. We went to three different bars and had three different, unique experiences. The first was a tourist owned bar where we met to adorable Wales boys that were traveling and were best friends wearing matching shirts. The dance moves were borderline hazardous, but I was not complaining. 

The second bar was a spitting image of a Las Vegas club. Sparkling gold chandlers dripped from the ceiling like icicles and refracted the various rave lights. At this bar, we met two guys from Dubai who bought us bucket drinks, of course. Giant buckets of alcohol, talk about dangerous. It was one of the Dubai guys in particular that made my night. Even being fairly sober, he gave me the perfect speech that a recent heartbroken girl needs to hear. He told me I was perfect. And when I laughed and told him he was so smooth, he starred at me very seriously and said, “no, I am being honest. You need to know you are perfect. Everything about you. The girls here start to blend together but you stand out like a star”. Lets just say my heart melted and I had a permanent glow the rest of the night.

The third and final bar had a dance stage exhibiting Thai strip girls and one male stripper who was by far the main attraction. Here, even I got on a strip pole with two other Thai girls that were adorable. One confessed she just had her heartbroken too and we immediately bonded over Beyonnce’s “Single Ladies” song. The absolute best part of this particular bar was the traditional Thai entertainment. The poles were randomly cleared as a man in full Thai theatre costume appeared and did about a 10-minute traditional Thai dance. It was beautiful, graceful and fantastic.

I’m learning to appreciate the culture of Phuket. There is a balance between East and West, Old and New, Traditional and Modern. As a traveler, I find comforts similar to home yet am exploring so many new foods, activities and cultural things as well.  Tonight I am going to a Thai Boxing Match BBQ where one ticket gets you unlimited BBQ while guys fight to the KO. Makes me just think of asking “how do you like your meat, rare or KO’d?”