"You're Being Such a Passenger"

An ultimate line to behavior check another tour guide is simple: You are acting like such a passenger right now. 

Not intended as meaning curious, spirited or eager; the adjectives you'd think would be associated with passengers who are experiencing the trip of a lifetime. Rather, this line is intended as a verbal slap and is the same as saying "You're being a fucking idiot".


This line wouldn't exist if it wasn't from experiences during the season. I went into this job bright eyed and hopeful that my passengers would be eager young travelers like myself. To be fair, I'd say 90% were and I've made some lifelong friends around the world. However, it's that other 10% that the stories are always about.

If you are preparing to book a tour, whether in the states or abroad. Here are the Top Five Passenger Do Nots.

1) "Why isn't the Wi-Fi working?" - Guess what, your tour leader does not care and finds it insanely petty that you can't be disconnected from the world for a few hours or at most a few days. Turn off the phone and interact with the people or nature around you.

2) During a drive in the middle of the country - "What's that (insert completely random object like fence or post box sign here)?" - Believe it or not, America is HUGE and no tour leader, regardless of how many seasons on the road, is going to know every mile of every road and every fence post on every street corner. If you couldn't answer the question about the middle of nowhere in your own home country, we can't either.

3) Insanely specific questions about things you don't honestly care about - "How deep is this random alpine lake that we stopped at for lunch?" or "How tall is the tallest tree on this hike?". We can see right through your gimmick. We know you don't care and are just testing our knowledge to see if we are capable of answering. Quit being a jerk and save it for when you actually are curious for the answer.

4) Google Fact checking your guide = Not cool. Sure, we all make mistakes. Maybe I said 510 ft and it's actually 520 ft. But guess what, I was close and you get the picture or point. When a passenger uses Google to double check some fun facts I'm spitting out, you're just being a show off that nobody likes. As guides, we are trained and study our asses off but nobody is perfect. Again, you don't actually care about that answer or the specific measurement; you're just being a dick.

5) Thinking that because you have a guide, you don't have to act like a human adult - Yes, you have a tour leader who is supposed to prep you and plan things and make your travel as stress free as possible. However, this is not permission to act like a complete insufficient human being. Pick up the garbage you dropped, leave the area the same if not better than you found it, stop trying to feed a goddamn squirrel after being warned countless times that they are wild animals, and quit complaining about things that can't be changed like the weather or how long the drives are.

As a tour leader, I love my job and find it immensely rewarding. I have the opportunity to do amazing adventures and take people on fantastic itineraries around a truly beautiful and diverse country. Yet the passengers and group members can make or break even the best planned trip and most senior tour leader. Some senior leaders say that one day, I'll quit actually caring about my passengers and their experiences and it'll just be a job. I don't want that day to come. I hope I continue to genuinely care about making a lifetime experience for people. However, as a potential person on one of my future tours, all I can say is; "Don't be such a Passenger" - be a traveler and explore with some intelligence and common sense.

Visual example of an awesome group #CurtisCrew

What is it like to be a guide?

5 months ago, I agreed to pack a bag and travel from my comfortable lakeside home in Washington to the beautiful wine region of Northern California to be trained to become a North American Adventure Guide. As a first time guide, I had no idea what it was that I signed up for. The job description was vague (at best) and even after completing a month long training course, I was still completely clueless. In a nutshell, it seemed that I should only imagine myself in a van with thirteen foreign strangers whom have the independence level of a newborn infant and answering all their naïve questions about why the wi-fi (wee-fee) isn't working while maneuvering and preventing every possible road born death scenario possible. That's pretty much the message I ascertained from training. However, my first season as a guide experienced far different scenarios.

  (My first Northern Cross Country Trip - 1 month, 6,000+ miles)

 Let me start by saying this; guiding is no walk in the park. I know that it may seem like all we do is laugh, drink, meet travelers and have a kick ass time. And sure, that is a good chunk of the day. But the other part of the day is internalizing all our "O shit, I think I'm lost" moments or subsiding our rage when someone says "Sorry, I broke (insert expensive piece of gear here)". The job even goes as low as eating a box of graham crackers in the back seat of the van with the doors locked while crying by oneself because you are out of cell service and you just need one damn normal conversation that isn't about tomorrow's itinerary and that's something no passenger would understand. Being a traveling guide is the most absurd sense of loneliness. You are constantly surrounded by individuals and conversation yet with an endless facade. After countless memorable and beautiful moments shared, these people pay you and disappear from your life and you are left alone yet again for several days in a dingy, ghetto Motel 6 in the butt hole of LA or New York or Las Vegas before beginning the process with new strange faces all over again.

Don't I make this job sound so appealing?

However, at the end of even the roughest day, this is still the BEST job I've ever had.

Imagine waking up along a lake in beautiful West Yellowstone. Your passengers are still sleeping. You fire up that propane and the smell of coffee begins to fill the air. Since it's the Northwest, you bust out the Huckleberry Syrup you secretly bought during the groups free time yesterday. The sun is slowly breaking over the mountain range in the distance and the campground has a soft yellow glow. Sizzling flapjacks are on the skillet and the group is starting to crawl out of their tents as the baked breakfast aroma mingles with the scent of fresh pine. Then, as the weary eyed travelers begin gathering around the table, everyone freezes.... Only feet away, traversing through the tents like a dazed passengers, is a male bison. Passing your group as if a stalk of trees, the bison wanders off into the forest just as the first batch of pancakes is ready to be served. "Good fucking morning, y'all"is the Australian's comment, and all you can think is "yea, good fucking morning".

That is one the the many stories from this season that makes me love my job.

Now this season as given me a lot, but is has also completely deprived me of any free time. Therefore, I am planning on committing the next few weeks to retelling some of my favorite experiences and stories from this season as a guide. Hopefully, you find them as amusing or intriguing as I have. If not, I'll reread these anecdotes before hitting the road next season and hopefully I'll make my future self chuckle (Hi future self!).