What is it like to be a guide?

5 months ago, I agreed to pack a bag and travel from my comfortable lakeside home in Washington to the beautiful wine region of Northern California to be trained to become a North American Adventure Guide. As a first time guide, I had no idea what it was that I signed up for. The job description was vague (at best) and even after completing a month long training course, I was still completely clueless. In a nutshell, it seemed that I should only imagine myself in a van with thirteen foreign strangers whom have the independence level of a newborn infant and answering all their naïve questions about why the wi-fi (wee-fee) isn't working while maneuvering and preventing every possible road born death scenario possible. That's pretty much the message I ascertained from training. However, my first season as a guide experienced far different scenarios.

  (My first Northern Cross Country Trip - 1 month, 6,000+ miles)

 Let me start by saying this; guiding is no walk in the park. I know that it may seem like all we do is laugh, drink, meet travelers and have a kick ass time. And sure, that is a good chunk of the day. But the other part of the day is internalizing all our "O shit, I think I'm lost" moments or subsiding our rage when someone says "Sorry, I broke (insert expensive piece of gear here)". The job even goes as low as eating a box of graham crackers in the back seat of the van with the doors locked while crying by oneself because you are out of cell service and you just need one damn normal conversation that isn't about tomorrow's itinerary and that's something no passenger would understand. Being a traveling guide is the most absurd sense of loneliness. You are constantly surrounded by individuals and conversation yet with an endless facade. After countless memorable and beautiful moments shared, these people pay you and disappear from your life and you are left alone yet again for several days in a dingy, ghetto Motel 6 in the butt hole of LA or New York or Las Vegas before beginning the process with new strange faces all over again.

Don't I make this job sound so appealing?

However, at the end of even the roughest day, this is still the BEST job I've ever had.

Imagine waking up along a lake in beautiful West Yellowstone. Your passengers are still sleeping. You fire up that propane and the smell of coffee begins to fill the air. Since it's the Northwest, you bust out the Huckleberry Syrup you secretly bought during the groups free time yesterday. The sun is slowly breaking over the mountain range in the distance and the campground has a soft yellow glow. Sizzling flapjacks are on the skillet and the group is starting to crawl out of their tents as the baked breakfast aroma mingles with the scent of fresh pine. Then, as the weary eyed travelers begin gathering around the table, everyone freezes.... Only feet away, traversing through the tents like a dazed passengers, is a male bison. Passing your group as if a stalk of trees, the bison wanders off into the forest just as the first batch of pancakes is ready to be served. "Good fucking morning, y'all"is the Australian's comment, and all you can think is "yea, good fucking morning".

That is one the the many stories from this season that makes me love my job.

Now this season as given me a lot, but is has also completely deprived me of any free time. Therefore, I am planning on committing the next few weeks to retelling some of my favorite experiences and stories from this season as a guide. Hopefully, you find them as amusing or intriguing as I have. If not, I'll reread these anecdotes before hitting the road next season and hopefully I'll make my future self chuckle (Hi future self!).